Since making my cancer public, I’ve received a lottttttttt of insensitive comments and questions. I’m not going to put y’all on blast, but I will address two straight up stupid questions I was asked. Why? Because they made me angry and it’s going to show you how to not be a dick.
Question 1- “do you think it would have made a difference if you went to the doctor sooner?”
Answer- What the fuck kind of question is this? Do you understand I’m not Ms Cleo and there’s litttttttttttttterally no way I can answer this stupid question.
Question 2- “you didn’t check your tits monthly?”
Answer- Yes, that’s a quoted question. I received it on facebook messenger so let’s dive right into why this person is a dick. Who the fuhhhhhhck asks this question to someone who has breast cancer? A dick. That’s who. Who do you think made the doctors appointment? Who do you think got in their car and drove all the way to the hospital and then parked their car, got out, walked inside the hospital and said ‘hey doctor, feel this it doesn’t feel right.’ ? Oh, yeah, somehow after doing my own self exam I did this you dip shit. So let’s paint the picture.
In 2015 I was a brides maid in a wedding for one of my really good friends. The other brides maid on the far left taking this picture is dating a guy I grew up with in the music scene from back home. During this time frame, his mom was battling breast cancer, and Claire talked a lot about her. It was after going out to eat for sushi with them, that I went back to my hotel room and did a self exam that night and found the first lump. You see dip shit Gloria, I’ve been on my A game about doing self exams for the past 3 years. Claire is to thank for that. I was 25 at the time and I’ve been very proactive with my health since my early 20s. I’m not here to shame people that aren’t doing self exams at home each month. But I do strongly urge you to be your own advocate. It’s YOUR job to ask questions. It’s YOUR job to do the research and find answers. It’s not your parent’s job, or your significant other’s job, and definitely not your doctor’s job to be your advocate. At the end of the day you’re the only person that knows your body and what’s right and what isn’t. I know this whole post is coming off a little spicy, but I promise you there’s no hostility in those that keep asking me insensitive questions. I’ll for sure call you out on it, but I’m not going to allow you to change my mood on how my body is being treated.
Please don’t be a dick. Please do be kind to your body. Please do take the time to pay attention to your body. Be mindful of what you put in and on your body. And if your doctors don’t listen or give you answers, please don’t give up on being your own advocate.