A lot has happened. I needed to take time to reflect before I wrote about my experience. Throughout this whole process I’ve taken the active steps to prep my body to try to heal this without chemo. I switched my diet, and started using other forms of healing outside of conventional medicine. I told my partner that I would meet with the oncologist and then spend the weekend to digest and allow something, my body, the universe, some creepy ghost in my house, to give me a sign on what decision to make regarding my treatment. We met with the oncologist, and I left the office still unsure of chemo. I later that night went to the gym, in hopes to have an outlet for all my stress. I’m so fucking thankful for having a space that allows me to do that.
Eventually that night after a lot of self reflection and knowledge digestion, I didn’t feel afraid of chemo. I made the decision, and since haven’t one second guessed it. I’m taking this as my sign. I will continue on with the same healing path, as far as my nutrition and other homeopathic medicines are concerned. I’m ready to give my body as much health and love as I possibly can while I focus on healing. Brandy told me to put this chemo into a cement box, and that’s where it will stay.